List of Glittery Things That Aren't Gold:
My mother's sequined bag
Isabel's green glitter fingernail polish
Eva’s baseball bat
Alex's metallic robots
My father's new laptop computer
My shiny new lunch box
Oh, yeah. And the cell phone that Brianna is getting next week

PS. If you don't know who Isabel, Eva, Alex, and Brianna are, see the Who's Who list below.

Lately, Brianna has talked of NOTHING but her brand-new cell phone. She is supposed to get it in a few days.

It has been one long Brianna brag fest.

Listening to her brag, you might think her cell phone will be solid gold. (I wouldn't put it past her to show up with a glittering golden phone!)

You might also think that Brianna's cell phone will be able to walk, talk, and recite the alphabet.

I bet Brianna thinks her phone can change skim milk to chocolate malted shakes, and turn cafeteria mystery mush to actual food!

Ha-ha. Just kidding.

Actually, Brianna's cell phone can "only" take pictures, make movies, search the Internet, give directions, send e-mail, and, oh, yeah, make phone calls.

According to her, it's got the latest and best in design technology.

It's called a Me-phone. (Of course.)

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We interrupt this exciting update for a message from your sponsor.

Brianna, stop talking about your cell phone and all the things it can do!

WHO CARES?

There is more to life than cell phones!

Like writing in journals. And hanging out with friends. And arguing with your family!

Who's Who Around Here:
Isabel, irritating older sister of me, Abby Hayes. Isabel is a twin of Eva Hayes. She is an A+ student, a debate team head, a scholarship winner, a starring actress, and a fingernail polish hut. Eva, un-identical twin to Isabel, and also an annoying older sister to me, Abby Hayes. A sports fanatic, the captain of the swim team, a basketball star, a lacrosse star, a softball star...you get the idea...she's good at sports.

Alex, younger brother of Abby, Isabel, and Eva. A somewhat less annoying sibling. He is obsessed with robots, math, and computers, a champion toy builder and an online gamer. Brianna, my classmate. Star of the Universe. She rides horses, speaks French, and stars in commercials. She has the best, is the best, and gets the best. Also, she is the biggest bragger in sixth grade.

And hey, in case you haven't noticed—she's about to get a new cell phone.*

*Cell phone. Overrated tiny electronic device that fits in a pocket and allows parents to call their kids constantly.